Separating Couples Mediation
Relationship breakdown can be a stressful and emotional time for a couple. Often a couple finds it difficult to communicate or find common ground on potential outcomes. Mediation can provide the framework to reach an agreement in a safe, confidential, and independent space. There will be some difficult decisions to be made: • Where will we live? • Where will our children live? • How do we organize a parenting plan? • Where will our pets live? • How do we work out our finances? • How do we divide our assets/loans? • How do we work out maintenance? Mediation has been shown to be highly successful for couples separating or considering divorce. It can be used to prepare a maintenance agreement, parenting plan, for the division of assets, and for the separation agreement. One big advantage of this service is that these considerations can often be resolved quickly, considering how long it takes to secure a court date for couples who go the legal route, this alternative process offers substantial benefit. It allows for both parties to have equal input ensuring decisions remain in your own hands, rather than being decided for you on your behalf, by a court. The cost of reaching an agreement through mediation is significantly lower than pursuing the legal route. The mediation process enables a couple to reach an agreement between themselves which can be a legally separated agreement if the couple requires, whilst getting independent legal advice at the relevant junctures.
What is Mediation for Separating Couples?
Mediation gives you and your ex-partner freedom and control over your separating agreement in a safe and confidential space. It allows you both to make your own decisions relating to your children, family home, finances and your future. The process allows you both to be heard equally in a non-judgemental and safe place. It allows all issues that are relevant to you both to be discussed and factored into your agreement. Unlike the adversarial court-based system, mediation with the assistance of a professional mediator guides you through the process to make decisions on all elements of your separating agreements that are unique to your family; rather than having a judge make those decisions on your behalf. In other words, it gives you both control over all decisions rather than them being forced upon you. Why Choose Mediation over Court Proceedings? • Parents retain control of decisions that affect them and their children. • It can be done quickly: it may be completed in a few months rather than years which is often the case with litigation and the court process. • Allows you both to get on with your new lives and increase the likelihood of a fair deal for both parties. • Costs are likely to be far less than those of lengthy court proceedings. • Allows for creative, situation-dependent outcomes, mediation is a flexible approach that affords solutions not available through the court system. • Mediation improves communication between all involved, it facilitates a better outcome that reflects the issues specific to the family. • Children can benefit as they can have input into the process. • Better relationships moving forward, facilitating parents in coming to their own agreements can foster better relationships.
The Mediators Role
Throughout the mediation process, the mediator remains non-judgmental. The mediator maintains a neutral position and is highly skilled in helping the parties to identify their problems and asks questions whilst facilitating an open discussion to explore the options available to them. It is not for the mediator to make decisions rather the mediator will guide you through the process whilst supporting both sides in identifying and exploring all the issues relevant to the unique situation. The mediator supports all parties, hearing and understanding the dynamics of the differing perspectives with the goal of reaching workable solutions that are long-lasting. The mediator will reality test these solutions to ensure sustainability. The mediator will ensure both parties are fully informed on the decisions they are making and have gathered all their information. The mediator ensures that all issues that the parties have under discussion are addressed and encourages full disclosure of all assets and finances.
Children in Mediation
Separation can be especially difficult for children. Mediation allows children to have a voice. There are opportunities to be involved in agreed-upon outcomes. Giving children a say in proceedings can be very beneficial for their confidence and sense of security. Moreover, it can help relinquish feelings of helplessness and fear of the future. Mediation is particularly effective in supporting parents and exploring and devising plans on how best to support the children both during and after the separation process. The process allows many decisions to be made in relation to the children such as where the children will live, how time is divided between the parents, education, health, holidays, religion, extracurricular activities, and so on.
Services
Divorce Settlement Agreements This agreement determines if the divorce is contested or uncontested. If this agreement is reached by both parties, the divorce is considered uncontested. A court date for the final divorce will be issued by the court much sooner and the process is a mere formality which will be done in minutes. Divorce settlement agreements are guided by the Matrimonial Property Act 88 of 1984 and the Divorce Act of 79 of 1979 – Divorce Amendment Act, 1992. Parenting Plans (child custody and visitation / joint care schedule) This plan details the care, contact and responsibilities towards the needs of the children. The details of this plan includes, but not limited to; primary residency, contact schedule of non-custodial parent, child maintenance, educational, medical, religious needs of the children etc, involvement of third parties and extended family. Parenting plans are guided by Section 33 and Section 34 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005. Maintenance Orders (child / arrear maintenance) Known as the “duty to maintain” or the “duty to support”. Section 18 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 states that the parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child include the responsibility and the right to contribute to the maintenance of the child. Both parents have a duty to maintain the child according to their respective means and the circumstances and needs of the child. Reviewing of current Parenting Plans and / or Maintenance Orders Life is forever changing and so are the circumstances of all parties involved. To set up clear requirements and guidelines based on the changing needs and requirements of the child or children – reviewing the current parenting plan or maintenance order is a must. Section 22 Agreements (Care and Contact of Children by Extended Family) This Agreement can be negotiated between the biological parent of the child and any other party who has an established interest in the child, i.e. grandparents. This process is guided by the Section 22 1 (b) of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005.
Clann – meaning children in Irish (Gaelic) “The Heart of the Matter”
Contact
Susan A. Harnett Family and Divorce Law Mediator Clann Mediation and Counselling “The Heart of The Matter” (m) +27 81 809 8780 (e) susan@clannmediation.com ©2022 Susan A. Harnett | All rights reserved | Website by 3MS
Separating Couples Mediation
Relationship breakdown can be a stressful and emotional time for a couple. Often a couple finds it difficult to communicate or find common ground on potential outcomes. Mediation can provide the framework to reach an agreement in a safe, confidential, and independent space. There will be some difficult decisions to be made: • Where will we live? • Where will our children live? • How do we organize a parenting plan? • Where will our pets live? • How do we work out our finances? • How do we divide our assets/loans? • How do we work out maintenance? Mediation has been shown to be highly successful for couples separating or considering divorce. It can be used to prepare a maintenance agreement, parenting plan, for the division of assets, and for the separation agreement. One big advantage of this service is that these considerations can often be resolved quickly, considering how long it takes to secure a court date for couples who go the legal route, this alternative process offers substantial benefit. It allows for both parties to have equal input ensuring decisions remain in your own hands, rather than being decided for you on your behalf, by a court. The cost of reaching an agreement through mediation is significantly lower than pursuing the legal route. The mediation process enables a couple to reach an agreement between themselves which can be a legally separated agreement if the couple requires, whilst getting independent legal advice at the relevant junctures.
What is Mediation for Separating Couples?
Mediation gives you and your ex-partner freedom and control over your separating agreement in a safe and confidential space. It allows you both to make your own decisions relating to your children, family home, finances and your future. The process allows you both to be heard equally in a non-judgemental and safe place. It allows all issues that are relevant to you both to be discussed and factored into your agreement. Unlike the adversarial court-based system, mediation with the assistance of a professional mediator guides you through the process to make decisions on all elements of your separating agreements that are unique to your family; rather than having a judge make those decisions on your behalf. In other words, it gives you both control over all decisions rather than them being forced upon you. Why Choose Mediation over Court Proceedings? • Parents retain control of decisions that affect them and their children. • It can be done quickly: it may be completed in a few months rather than years which is often the case with litigation and the court process. • Allows you both to get on with your new lives and increase the likelihood of a fair deal for both parties. • Costs are likely to be far less than those of lengthy court proceedings. • Allows for creative, situation-dependent outcomes, mediation is a flexible approach that affords solutions not available through the court system. • Mediation improves communication between all involved, it facilitates a better outcome that reflects the issues specific to the family. • Children can benefit as they can have input into the process. • Better relationships moving forward, facilitating parents in coming to their own agreements can foster better relationships.
The Mediators Role
Throughout the mediation process, the mediator remains non-judgmental. The mediator maintains a neutral position and is highly skilled in helping the parties to identify their problems and asks questions whilst facilitating an open discussion to explore the options available to them. It is not for the mediator to make decisions rather the mediator will guide you through the process whilst supporting both sides in identifying and exploring all the issues relevant to the unique situation. The mediator supports all parties, hearing and understanding the dynamics of the differing perspectives with the goal of reaching workable solutions that are long-lasting. The mediator will reality test these solutions to ensure sustainability. The mediator will ensure both parties are fully informed on the decisions they are making and have gathered all their information. The mediator ensures that all issues that the parties have under discussion are addressed and encourages full disclosure of all assets and finances.
Children in Mediation
Separation can be especially difficult for children. Mediation allows children to have a voice. There are opportunities to be involved in agreed-upon outcomes. Giving children a say in proceedings can be very beneficial for their confidence and sense of security. Moreover, it can help relinquish feelings of helplessness and fear of the future. Mediation is particularly effective in supporting parents and exploring and devising plans on how best to support the children both during and after the separation process. The process allows many decisions to be made in relation to the children such as where the children will live, how time is divided between the parents, education, health, holidays, religion, extracurricular activities, and so on.
Services
Divorce Settlement Agreements This agreement determines if the divorce is contested or uncontested. If this agreement is reached by both parties, the divorce is considered uncontested. A court date for the final divorce will be issued by the court much sooner and the process is a mere formality which will be done in minutes. Divorce settlement agreements are guided by the Matrimonial Property Act 88 of 1984 and the Divorce Act of 79 of 1979 – Divorce Amendment Act, 1992. Parenting Plans (child custody and visitation / joint care schedule) This plan details the care, contact and responsibilities towards the needs of the children. The details of this plan includes, but not limited to; primary residency, contact schedule of non-custodial parent, child maintenance, educational, medical, religious needs of the children etc, involvement of third parties and extended family. Parenting plans are guided by Section 33 and Section 34 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005. Maintenance Orders (child / arrear maintenance) Known as the “duty to maintain” or the “duty to support”. Section 18 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 states that the parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child include the responsibility and the right to contribute to the maintenance of the child. Both parents have a duty to maintain the child according to their respective means and the circumstances and needs of the child. Reviewing of current Parenting Plans and / or Maintenance Orders Life is forever changing and so are the circumstances of all parties involved. To set up clear requirements and guidelines based on the changing needs and requirements of the child or children – reviewing the current parenting plan or maintenance order is a must. Section 22 Agreements (Care and Contact of Children by Extended Family) This Agreement can be negotiated between the biological parent of the child and any other party who has an established interest in the child, i.e. grandparents. This process is guided by the Section 22 1 (b) of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005.
Clann – meaning children in Irish (Gaelic) “The Heart of the Matter”
Contact
Susan A. Harnett Family and Divorce Law Mediator Clann Mediation and Counselling “The Heart of The Matter” (m) +27 81 809 8780 (e) susan@clannmediation.com ©2021-2022 Susan A. Harnett All rights reserved | Website by 3MS
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